His Heartlessness
by BlackAlias
Summary: Zexion keeps having nightmares that finally become a reality. Marluxia/Zexion - NC-17/M - Breathe play, Character death, rape?


**Subject:** Kingdom Hearts

**Rating:** Definitely NC-17

**Warning:** Breathe play, Character death, a bit of rape I guess? It's pretty dark...

**Pairing:** Zexion/Marluxia, hints of Zexion/Vexen

**Authors Notes:** So this was built from a prompt "Reoccurring dreams, what do they say about you?". I thought to myself "Today I'm gonna write something, cause I haven't written anything in forever... today I will write something... ANYTHING" so here it is.

I'm afraid to go to sleep... because when I do sleep, I always see _him_. My nights are filled with nightmares of him. That smile, those teeth. The pain his hands cause me... and every night I wake up from it, sweating and hot with broken pride. To feel that desire every time I wake up from something I thought I hated. From someone I thought I despised...

Every time I go to sleep he comes from the darkness and grabs me. He holds me down or pushes me into the white walls till they almost seem to absorb me as my skin goes numb. His bites me, holds the skin between his grating teeth, rubbing and cutting the flesh till I can't help but cry out and the blood trickles down.

He licks it away and follows my spin down. His nails, they always dig in, till they break the skin and he drags them down my sides, ripping till blood is not only flecked down my ribs but running over his fingers as well. He abuses me and I scream for him to leave me alone.

He smiles, chuckles... smirks. Sometimes he fades away into the darkness... but sometimes he doesn't. When I jolt awake I always have to deal with my body. The lack of pain irks me. I can't understand it's absence, the dreams are always so vivid... they leave me wondering... and then there is the discomfort that's always there. I would swear my body hated me if I didn't know better, for every time I awake from the nightmares I ache for touch in the one place I feel shame to touch.

And when I relieve myself.. for I must always relieve myself, for not doing so brings on more nightmares, I feel disgusted with myself. My thoughts and these disgusting things that bring me to my completion. I hate that I become aroused by his cruelty.

So.

I've taken to not sleeping as of late. I lay in my favorite chair, legs hung over an arm, my back braced to the other, a book in my lap. I read, or at least, I appear to be reading, but really I'm reflecting on how I disgust myself. My face it twitching to hide how it wants to twist into a sickened look. No ones here though. No one comes to the library. But to give in and show my feelings would make it all far to real. I must avoid that... making it become a reality. Even when I touch myself to those disgusting thoughts, it's not real to me. No... to openly accept it through facial expression, to say it out loud or so much as speak about it while not in a moment of fear the nightmares inflict within me, would make it real. And that would kill me.

No one ever comes to the library...

So why is the door creaking open? Why are the metal hinges that haven't seen oil in all their life squeaking and grating to open the heavy wooden door that separates me from him? Why is he entering the room and all I can smell is his god awful scent?

He saying something... I can't hear him. All I can hear is the sound of fear. A sound I never thought one could hear, but here it is. It's screaming in my ears, I can't comprehend the words leaving those traitorous lips. I don't know where he is either, until I feel his hand around my neck.

I take it in. He's kneeling next to the chairs arm, a single hand lightly gracing my neck as though taunting me.. threatening to strangle me. Then his words are gracing my ear. I can't understand them, all I can feel is the air passing over my flesh.

I come round when I feel his hand slowly tighten. "Zexion..." I shiver. I hate him. I hate him for saying my name like that... Like he wants to kill me. I hate even more the fact that he's having the same effect he has on me in my nightmares. I let my book fall over my lap, my hopes are to hide the evidence of my corrupted mind.

"I won't kill you..." he's speaking to me again. I hear his mouth part once more, I wait for the words to fly over my skin, but they don't. Instead his teeth cause pain to course through my ear. He's biting me... grating his teeth over the skin... he's bringing alive my nightmares and I'm horrified when a gasp leaves me.

He grins... I know he's grinning cause his lips contort against my skin till I swear he's grinning as wide as the cheshire cat. His hand tightens. I can't breathe... I should be afraid, but I'm not... I'm aroused. I hate myself...

He's noticed too, cause i've started to pressure the book into my lap, straddling it to try desperately to hide the evidence. He's just chucking at my attempt and grabs the book and tosses it against the floor before I've even noticed it's not in my hands anymore. He's moved again. Why is he so fast? Or why is my mind so slow? Why can't I see him moving? He's got me backed up against the back of the chair as he crawls half-way onto it, his hand still on my throat. Tight now.

He holds me to the back of the chair and watches as I shake when he begins to unzip my coat. His eyes won't leave mine. He sees the fear and it's feeding his ability to control me. He opens my coat and my hands grab his arm, I think I'm trying to stop him. Or maybe I'm no longer thinking... What ever I wanted him to do... my request is ignored as he continues to remove my boots, black socks and finally my pants, casting them off into the darkness of a library I once thought to be my safe haven.

He grabs me through my boxers, fondles me and all I can do is sink my teeth into my lips to stop the noises. "I won't kill you." he laughs again, licking his lips as he watches the blood run down my chin. I've bitten through my own skin. When he pulls down the fabric holding me, just enough to expose my shame to his eyes, I'm almost crying from the pain.

He's tightening his grasp on my throat, and I stare down as he flicks his tongue out and washes it over the head. I'm shaking again, my eyes wide and afraid. He slips his mouth over me and begins to suck lightly. My teeth rip through my lips and I no longer have anything to keep me silent. I cry out in pain... and pleasure... and hate. He bites down softly, dragging his teeth up me and I cry out something. He finds it funny and laughs and the vibrations make me come undone just a bit more.

He's stopped for a moment to lick his fingers. I cant even wonder what he's going to do. He's already back on me with his mouth and teeth and now his fingers are gracing my hole. I feel disgusted with him. He slips his fingers in effortlessly, he enjoys the scream that leaves my lips. I know he does. I can see him smirking up at me.

He moves his fingers within me. It's disgusting. My body loves it. He pushes against the walls of muscle till I'm screaming again. I wonder why no one has heard me. Has he sent them all upstairs? on missions? What time is it? Vexen should be working in the labs... He should be able to hear my screams... He should have come to my aid by now.

He's stopped moving and I have stopped making noise. He pulls his mouth off on me and I wince. He pulls his fingers out of me sharply and I almost cry from the loss. Horrified with myself. He smirking again.

"See? That was fun." he purrs as he lets go of my throat. Its hard for me to draw breath now... I feel like my throats been crushed.

But he's lifting me and like a young child I cling to him, wrap my legs around him, hold him.

He sits down in the chair I was just pleasured in and I realize his coats open. His pants are gone and even more disturbingly, I don't remember him removing any clothing. He's got no shame. He exposes himself completely to me, watches keenly as I realize he's hard and his own arousal is pressing against my hole.

I'm disgusted with myself. He starts to rub me and then he's moving me up onto my knees, which are planted next to his hips. He lets me lower just enough to feel him pressing the tip of his arousal to my hole. He does nothing else...

I know he does nothing else. I do the rest. I lower myself upon him and cry out in pleasure as he fills me up. I know one hands grabbed me by the throat again, but the others tightly griping the arm of the chair, threatening to rip through the material. He's not lifting my hips and dropping them to take himself desperately in and out of my body.

It's my body. My own. That's riding him and it's my mouth that's gasping for air while moaning and crying out. As he chokes me I get closer. Finally his hand grabs my shameful erection and begins to jerk me off. I frantically ride him and then, with his hand still choking me I arch back causing him to strike that spot within me and I release onto his hand and my gut.

I moan out his name as I release, and he hears this and feels my muscles tensing on him and he bites into my shoulder, his warm seed filling my insides. It's disgusting.

He leans us over too far and we fall onto the floor. My body under his. And he releases my throat, pulls out of me and smirks.

He's killed me. He's made the nightmares a reality.

"Remember how I said I wouldn't kill you?" He's talking and I look up at him. I'm so shameful right now, on the floor at his feet, covering my my own guilty release and completely naked.

He smirks and it crossed my mind that he thinks he's won something.

"I lied." I hardly register the words as his scythe strikes me down. I know I'm in pain as I lay there. He's laughing as he walks away from me. I see Vexen running in past him. He sees me... He looks terrified... I'm not as afraid. I feel myself begin to fade into nothing.

I can't stop my chuckle.

"So that is what it means to be heartless." I'm watching pink hair flicker as the doors close. I have seen a true heartless. And now, a nobody is watching me become nothing.

How very disgusting.


End file.
